how to set compassionate New Year’s resolutions that serve all of you
Finding a new kind of resolution.
Real, lasting change comes from compassion and awareness—not from quick sparks of motivation evoking commitment to lofty goals.
If something about a “New Year’s resolution” overwhelms you, turns up the self-criticism, or turns you off completely, maybe you’re ready to approach the new year from a more compassionate, embodied perspective. The pressure we (and society) place upon ourselves to reach goals, do better, and achieve standards, can trigger a stress response rooted in the I’m-not-good-enough fear, leading to a dysregulated nervous system, imbalanced body physiology, procrastination, and self-sabotage.
All of this because I wanted to better myself? Sheesh! This can be frustrating at best, exhausting and immobilizing at worst. As a self-labeled perfectionist, I know these patterns. So, I gave up resolutions a long time ago, and I feel better than ever.
What if you approach the new year with an entirely different type of intention? No longer setting goals to “get there,” but instead committing to being here? Here in this moment. In your body. In your heart. Present. This isn’t flashy or motivating like a lofty goal can feel, but here’s the paradox: the more present you remain, the more steadfast your connection to heart, spirit, breath, body—and these are the sources of fuel possessing enough energy to move mountains, to change the world.
Let your goals be the outcome of a devotion to self-awareness and compassion. Instead of your dreams and goals serving as your primary focus, they’re the end result of self-love. The more self-love, the more heart-centered your dreams and goals. Below are a few tips to help you shift that New Year’s perspective from doing to being, from proving worthiness to embodying it. Want support in this process? Book a free call to chat with me.
1. Shed old expectations. Just because some humans, at some time, decided to set new goals on the first of every January, doesn’t mean you must subscribe to that constructed idea. Notice when your thoughts and actions are coming from the constructed belief that you must craft a “new start” for yourself in January, when this belief automatically directs your choices. You can start new in January if you want to, but you don’t have to. A new start can come any day, any month, any breath. Once you build awareness of these unconscious defaults, then you can make the choices that feel aligned with you.
2. Name that “program.” When you notice the fear loops, self-criticism of your behaviors, your parent’s voice from ten years ago, or other habits that feel distressing or unhelpful, name them. Who’s voice is that? What is the fear? Bring it into conscious awareness, so they’re no longer stuck “on” in the background, influencing how you feel about yourself. Then choose whether to keep engaging with it to or let it go.
3. Craft intentions from love, not fear. The external goals such as finally lose 10 pounds often stem from a place of I’m not worthy as I am, so I must change.
In contrast, an intention to commit to a balanced breakfast most days per week is more likely rooted in I care for my body and want to become more supportive of its healing. These kinds of goals tend to be more sustainable and impactful because instead of dripping in self-judgment, they’re wrapped in compassion.
4. Out of head, into heart & body. Our minds are constantly playing habitual judgmental, fear-based mental loops. These loops keep us stuck in the same old patterns and disconnected from our truth + power. Practice shifting your awareness down into your heart space, your breath, even your feet, to reconnect with what is true + present.
5. The moment is now. New Year’s resolutions can put unrealistic timelines on our healing. We put our healing in a rigid box, assigning deadlines onto journeys that are unpredictable, unfolding in ways we could never imagine. The reality? There is no right timeline for growth, healing, and evolution. Each day is the right day to start—not just January 1st. Each breath is new. Each heartbeat is new. Start when your heart says go. When YOU’RE ready, not when the rest of the world gets ready. If you connect deeply to your why, you can find more internal inspiration than you will on any 1st of any year.
6. Take a smaller step. Start with a baby step in the direction your heart is pulling you. That small step matters, so much. Committing yourself to a giant goal can sometimes be immobilizing (‘this goal is unsafe because if I don’t achieve it, I believe it means I’m inadequate. I’ll just never start, so I don’t face that fear’). Instead, start with the smallest, most meaningful step.
7. Honor yourself. You’re alive with the breath of the divine. Bow to your own heart and say yes to yourself, to your deep longings, even if the steps needed are foreign (new foods, new places, new routines) or uncomfortable (different sleep schedule, witnessing your painful feelings). Be open to your own knowing about what you need, and then follow through. Because you’re worth the effort.
Where was your biggest remembering (or ‘aha’ moment) unveiled in this email? I want to know! Reply to share. Also, forward this email to someone you love who needs one or two of these reminders. Think you might benefit from guidance, structure, accountability, or reminders of your worthiness as you journey through your self-healing process? Click this link to book a free call.
Wishing you new beginnings filled with remembering—remembering your worth, your strength, your infinite healing potential, and how much love surrounds you no matter how much hardship is present.
With love,
Dr. Savannah